The Mental Health Thread - (Help Contacts in First Post).

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Re: The Mental Health Thread - (Help Contacts in First Post).

Post by Samba »

Bump
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Re: The Mental Health Thread - (Help Contacts in First Post).

Post by mushy »

:gamer:
Samba wrote: Tue Apr 26, 2022 9:47 pmBump
Well bumped Samba.
How are well all doing?
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Re: The Mental Health Thread - (Help Contacts in First Post).

Post by rigoberts song »

Focusing on lots of gardening walking
Hardly drinking just weekends.
Giving up my addiction to endless short term womanising.
Chance meeting with a local lady I dated last year briefly and taking it slowly.
Trying to accept that the heartache and pain I get on fathers day birthday Xmas etc from not hearing from my daughters won't be forever .
Suicidal thoughts and panic attacks haven't arisen for some time.
Keeping myself busy and trying to acheive something everyday.
There are people on here fighting bigger battles than me and my heart and love go out to them.
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Re: The Mental Health Thread - (Help Contacts in First Post).

Post by ageing hammer »

Well done Rigoberts Song you are doing fantastic mate, :heart:
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Re: The Mental Health Thread - (Help Contacts in First Post).

Post by S-H »

rigoberts song wrote: Wed Apr 27, 2022 8:04 am Focusing on lots of gardening walking
Hardly drinking just weekends.
Giving up my addiction to endless short term womanising.
Chance meeting with a local lady I dated last year briefly and taking it slowly.
Trying to accept that the heartache and pain I get on fathers day birthday Xmas etc from not hearing from my daughters won't be forever .
Suicidal thoughts and panic attacks haven't arisen for some time.
Keeping myself busy and trying to acheive something everyday.
There are people on here fighting bigger battles than me and my heart and love go out to them.
Keep going, mate!

:muscle:
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Re: The Mental Health Thread - (Help Contacts in First Post).

Post by OFT »

rigoberts song wrote: Wed Apr 27, 2022 8:04 am ..........................
good stuff rigoberts and best wishes :newthumb:
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Re: The Mental Health Thread - (Help Contacts in First Post).

Post by Cockneyboy311 »

OFT wrote: Wed Apr 27, 2022 8:48 am good stuff rigoberts and best wishes :newthumb:
seconded :fist:
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Re: The Mental Health Thread - (Help Contacts in First Post).

Post by rigoberts song »

Thanks for your kindness, always here for you lads and ladies in return
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Re: The Mental Health Thread - (Help Contacts in First Post).

Post by WHU Independent »

The Good

Doing loads of gardening. Not bothered about the results tbh, but like the logistics - weeding, clearing ground, planting, watering. Takes up loads of my time, I feel like I've got a lot done, good for my overall health, relaxing and enjoyable in equal measure. Some stuff is growing, some isn't - it's noy about the end result for me, it's about the journey. Added Bonus - the garden looks great.

My mate has moved up near me after escaping an abusive relationship with his GF in Wales. He's a good bloke to have around - reliable and solid.

I've found a great vegan bakery down the road which is top notch. It's so good that my mate and my father - who would both at one time ridicule vegan food - have actively made it their NO 1 go to place for food. We go at least 3 tmes a week and during that period my mate has lost a decent amount of weight and my father is the most "regular" he has been for years.

The Bad

My mate loves pub quizes and we go twice a week. My alcohol consumption has therefore increased.I have cut down at the weekend to compensate, but getting in a pub early doors and the pub quiz finishing late is influencing my booze consumption.

Training: I usually train 4 nights a week, but the gardening is taking it's toll. It's hard graft, when you have a totally over grown garden and allotment, so at the moment I am only training 3 nights a week. I really miss that 4th day and have made efforts - like this week - to get back on schedule. It's tough though.

Sleeping: my insommnia has returned with a vengance. Nothing - booze, painkillers or a combination of both - is working. I've tried it all - lavender, no blue light 3 hours before you go to bed, no lights in your bedroom, reading, bathing before bedtime, clean sheets, relaxation therapy - you name it I've tried it. I've must have got about 2 hours sleep per night for the last three days.

In addition my TV blew up - I've got a new one but it was a pain trying to get the old one sorted out - and my father has been quite ill - so much so we I have had to call the emergancy district nurse out late at night and she arrived at 1pm. He was also due an op to sort out his bowel problems, but failed the pre ope assessment as his thyroid was 30+ points above the required level (5.) That involves DR's, bloodtests - blah blah blah - all very time consuming.

All in all I feel ok but have this feeling that things are lining up to hinder my dad's recovery and the Dr's insist on ringing him directly - despite having me down as his contact and registered carer- as they know if I'm not about they can bull**** him and fob him off - as they have done today. The end result is the operation his is due for will not take place until at least after June. He was due to have it tomorrow.
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Re: The Mental Health Thread - (Help Contacts in First Post).

Post by Samba »

rigoberts song wrote: Wed Apr 27, 2022 1:13 pm Thanks for your kindness, always here for you lads and ladies in return
Good for you, RS.
Glad to hear that things have been/are getting, better. :newthumb:
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Re: The Mental Health Thread - (Help Contacts in First Post).

Post by Samba »

WHU Independent wrote: Thu Apr 28, 2022 10:44 pm The Bad

My mate loves pub quizes and we go twice a week. My alcohol consumption has therefore increased.I have cut down at the weekend to compensate, but getting in a pub early doors and the pub quiz finishing late is influencing my booze consumption.
Do you have to have alcohol at pub quizzes, Indy? If I ever go, I have still water. I used to hate fizzy water but in recent times, I've really got in to it!
I mean sure, it's not at all exciting & would be a real culture shock to you but you can't get anything healthier, to drink.
Plus if I was on booze, my quiz answers would quickly go down hill..


Training: I usually train 4 nights a week, but the gardening is taking it's toll. It's hard graft, when you have a totally over grown garden and allotment, so at the moment I am only training 3 nights a week. I really miss that 4th day and have made efforts - like this week - to get back on schedule. It's tough though.
Isn't the gardening like a night training? I mean it can be like a real workout. Same as handwashing a car.

Sleeping: my insommnia has returned with a vengance. Nothing - booze, painkillers or a combination of both - is working. I've tried it all - lavender, no blue light 3 hours before you go to bed, no lights in your bedroom, reading, bathing before bedtime, clean sheets, relaxation therapy - you name it I've tried it. I've must have got about 2 hours sleep per night for the last three days.
I know you've said in the past that alcohol often gives you a good nights sleep but it's interesting that your insomnia has coincided with your alcohol intake going up on quiz nights.
Also, you mention training at night. Personally, that would REALLY make me have trouble, getting to sleep. Can you exercise much earlier in the day? Same as a hot bath at night; always used to wake me up.


In addition my TV blew up - I've got a new one but it was a pain trying to get the old one sorted out - and my father has been quite ill - so much so we I have had to call the emergancy district nurse out late at night and she arrived at 1pm. He was also due an op to sort out his bowel problems, but failed the pre ope assessment as his thyroid was 30+ points above the required level (5.) That involves DR's, bloodtests - blah blah blah - all very time consuming.
And very stressful for you, which could also really be affecting your ability to sleep.

All in all I feel ok but have this feeling that things are lining up to hinder my dad's recovery and the Dr's insist on ringing him directly - despite having me down as his contact and registered carer- as they know if I'm not about they can bull**** him and fob him off - as they have done today. The end result is the operation his is due for will not take place until at least after June. He was due to have it tomorrow.
Sorry to hear that Indy, that must be so frustrating.
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Re: The Mental Health Thread - (Help Contacts in First Post).

Post by Joyeux Marteau »

Anyone else watch Drag Race?

If you do you’ll know that RuPaul often talks about “your inner saboteur”, if you’re not a fan/viewer it’s that voice in your head which always puts you down.

I’m really struggling with mine inner voice/saboteur) at the moment, I’m desperately trying to find a new job and as soon as I apply that flipping voice pops up to say “you’re useless, they’ll not want you etc. . .” I for some reason have not responded to people in the past when they contact me about new jobs or opportunities. Why do I do that?

I hate my job, I do almost all the work and get nothing for it, except more work. I’ve been here for twelve years and have hated most of it for that time. I just can’t seem to leave.

How can I get around it and stop thinking I’m worthless? And any ideas to shut the voice up would be great.
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Re: The Mental Health Thread - (Help Contacts in First Post).

Post by -DL- »

Something has done my nut right in this morning - and the few people I've told about it, have actually celebrated it and congratulated me for and I'm luck 'what the f***?'.

A couple of months ago, I had a slight bag leak in the car when I was on a road trip - but by the time I'd parked my car up miles away from the service area building and made it to the loo, the slight leak had left me a bit on the soggy side.

Anyway, Mrs DL said 'why don't you apply for a blue badge? You probably won't get one, but it costs nothing, and it's worth an ask'. So I did, and yesterday, I had the assessment with a HCW at the local council, and I have been approved. The bloke I saw yesterday called me today and said to me, that on the basis of having a bag, I wouldn't have got get one, but he's taken my overall health issues and rolled them in to a ball, and he couldn't not issue me one.

Yet, I've told a few people that knew I had an assessment yesterday, and I'm getting congratulated, well dons, that sort of thing, and I'm thinking 'Hang on. You're congratulating me that my body is that ****ed, I can now park in spaces others can't?' Now obviously, they don't mean anything by it, but I'm actually now struggling with what's happened. I've gone from being somebody that was planning a hike up the three peaks, to somebody whose body has been so through the mill, that the council doc has given me the licence to park anywhere and believe you me, getting a blue badge out of Medway Council when you're not on the higher rate of mobility pip is like trying to get blood out of a stone. I didn't think I'd get one, and deep down, I didn't want to get one - because of what having one signifies - that I'm likely to not be getting any better. Believe you me, I'd rather be well enough to not need one, and I find it perverse that people are saying to me well done and such like - being disabled isn't a cause for that terminology, is it?

I dunno, I'm probably (likely) reading too much in to it because getting that call has done my head in and knocked me back a bit, but for a once very active 47 year old (ok, I've not been particularly active for almost 4 years) it's a bitter-sweet pill to swallow and come to terms with right now.
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Re: The Mental Health Thread - (Help Contacts in First Post).

Post by Mega Ron »

They're just happy for you that you've conned a blue badge so you can pop into Starbucks without the threat of a ticket.
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Re: The Mental Health Thread - (Help Contacts in First Post).

Post by Joyeux Marteau »

DL if I may, you’re being a goon.

You’re mother effing DL, I’ve said it before and I’ll keep saying it until you believe it.

Yes, you’ve been through it over the past few years but you’re out on the other side now. You should be getting every bit of help you can and you really shouldn’t be feeling bad for it.

I get that it’s a knock back, I really do and I hope it doesn’t set you back too much. You’re still you and nothing can change that, blue badge or not.

Take care.
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Re: The Mental Health Thread - (Help Contacts in First Post).

Post by wolf359 »

Joyeux Marteau wrote: Fri Apr 29, 2022 2:37 pm Anyone else watch Drag Race?

If you do you’ll know that RuPaul often talks about “your inner saboteur”, if you’re not a fan/viewer it’s that voice in your head which always puts you down.

I’m really struggling with mine inner voice/saboteur) at the moment, I’m desperately trying to find a new job and as soon as I apply that flipping voice pops up to say “you’re useless, they’ll not want you etc. . .” I for some reason have not responded to people in the past when they contact me about new jobs or opportunities. Why do I do that?

I hate my job, I do almost all the work and get nothing for it, except more work. I’ve been here for twelve years and have hated most of it for that time. I just can’t seem to leave.

How can I get around it and stop thinking I’m worthless? And any ideas to shut the voice up would be great.
You sound like I was/am I did thirteen years, most of them I hated an more to the point they made me hate myself. As for leaving I was never brave enough and remained far longer than I should. It took the complete erosion of my role and VR to finally make me leave.

Even then it took me 5 months to overcome ‘your ****’ to even look for work. I’ve discovered since I’m not ‘****’ far from it in fact and every day I wish I’d left 5+ years sooner.

Good luck in finding the courage to leave and move on, it sounds easy ‘find a new job’ but when you feel so worthless it’s very, very hard.

I feel younger now at 44 than I did at 34. I’ve physically and mentally better all because I have a purpose. I can enjoy leisure time because I’m not mentally shot and just greatful at making the weekend.
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Re: The Mental Health Thread - (Help Contacts in First Post).

Post by -DL- »

Mega Ron wrote: Fri Apr 29, 2022 8:38 pm They're just happy for you that you've conned a blue badge so you can pop into Starbucks without the threat of a ticket.
Do f*** off, Starbucks tastes like **** 😁
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Re: The Mental Health Thread - (Help Contacts in First Post).

Post by Greatest Cockney Rip Off »

-DL- wrote: Fri Apr 29, 2022 3:53 pm Something has done my nut right in this morning - and the few people I've told about it, have actually celebrated it and congratulated me for and I'm luck 'what the ****?'.

A couple of months ago, I had a slight bag leak in the car when I was on a road trip - but by the time I'd parked my car up miles away from the service area building and made it to the loo, the slight leak had left me a bit on the soggy side.

Anyway, Mrs DL said 'why don't you apply for a blue badge? You probably won't get one, but it costs nothing, and it's worth an ask'. So I did, and yesterday, I had the assessment with a HCW at the local council, and I have been approved. The bloke I saw yesterday called me today and said to me, that on the basis of having a bag, I wouldn't have got get one, but he's taken my overall health issues and rolled them in to a ball, and he couldn't not issue me one.

Yet, I've told a few people that knew I had an assessment yesterday, and I'm getting congratulated, well dons, that sort of thing, and I'm thinking 'Hang on. You're congratulating me that my body is that ****ed, I can now park in spaces others can't?' Now obviously, they don't mean anything by it, but I'm actually now struggling with what's happened. I've gone from being somebody that was planning a hike up the three peaks, to somebody whose body has been so through the mill, that the council doc has given me the licence to park anywhere and believe you me, getting a blue badge out of Medway Council when you're not on the higher rate of mobility pip is like trying to get blood out of a stone. I didn't think I'd get one, and deep down, I didn't want to get one - because of what having one signifies - that I'm likely to not be getting any better. Believe you me, I'd rather be well enough to not need one, and I find it perverse that people are saying to me well done and such like - being disabled isn't a cause for that terminology, is it?

I dunno, I'm probably (likely) reading too much in to it because getting that call has done my head in and knocked me back a bit, but for a once very active 47 year old (ok, I've not been particularly active for almost 4 years) it's a bitter-sweet pill to swallow and come to terms with right now.
My missus was the same. She qualified for one just after her breast cancer combined with osteoarthritis and fibromyalgia and was probably assessed in the same place as you. She was horrified that she was no "officially" disabled but five years on, she's loving it. No bull**** traffic wardens (not even them c**** in Brighton) and she parks distances from places she goes which are manageable for her. She's even qualified for the free car now too.

Calm your tits and stick to fingers up at the traffic wardens.
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Re: The Mental Health Thread - (Help Contacts in First Post).

Post by WHU Independent »

DL - my dad has a blue badge and it's a godsend. Like you he was horrified at first, but now he sees the advantges and it really helps him out. As GCRO rightly states, no probs with traffic wardens, park clos to qwhere you want to be etc - it really helps.

Just see it as part of your recovery mate - it's helping you get better by reducing the stress on what you want to do.
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Re: The Mental Health Thread - (Help Contacts in First Post).

Post by Samba »

-DL- wrote: Fri Apr 29, 2022 3:53 pmI dunno, I'm probably (likely) reading too much in to it because getting that call has done my head in and knocked me back a bit, but for a once very active 47 year old (ok, I've not been particularly active for almost 4 years) it's a bitter-sweet pill to swallow and come to terms with right now.
You've kind of explained why it's got to you. It's stirred things up in your mind.
However, the people that have been congratulating you haven't been doing it because of what happened to you or how your body is now, they're doing it partly because they know how bloody near impossible it is to get one & perhaps partly because they know how less stressful it will be for you regarding parking, from now on.

Five things to ponder about:

1) Think about getting one of them blue badge holders that you can chain to the steering wheel as I'm sure you know just how nickable they are & it ain't worth getting a smashed window for it.

2) Don't EVER assume that it means free parking everywhere. Always check as some places (tbh, quite rare), blue badge holders still have to pay to park. There's also some areas in London (City of London, Camden etc) where they have some restrictions, even for blue badges.

3) I'm pretty sure that you can't park even with a blue badge in Stratford, when we're playing at home that day or evening.
The actual areas are:
Stratford Central
Stratford North West
Stratford South West
Stratford South East
West Ham

4) You can apply for a 100% discount on the Congestion Charge if you are a Blue Badge holder.

5) Blue Badge holders need to pay the ULEZ charge unless their vehicle meets the ULEZ emission standards or is registered with the DVLA as having a 'disabled' or 'disabled passenger vehicle' tax class.

Keepers of vehicles registered in these tax classes benefit from a grace period where they are exempt from paying the ULEZ charge until 26 October 2025. This is valid as long as their vehicle doesn't change tax class. (Vehicles operated by or on behalf of TfL will not benefit from this grace period.)
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