The Mental Health Thread - (Help Contacts in First Post).

[btajim - mcfc]

So I've been asked to go to the doctors for a "health check" involving a "routine blood test". This has never happened before so I'm assuming it's post-bowel surgery care? Nevertheless, I'm booked in for Friday. Then there's a review a week later...

Like I've been so advised, I'm following every single piece of advice given to me by professionals.

[Clacton-ammer]

Hi Rio,

Just from an employment law POV, as good as Stoneys reply is I would change it slightly to:-

Dear Managers name,

As we previously agreed I have been working from home since August now, and it's my really strong belief that I am far more effective working from home than I am in the office. I also am aware that it may cause problems with other members of the team who may not be sure that I am 'on task' or being as proactive as some of the members of the rest of the team. etc etc as Stoney says.

I would for the time being drop I would like to continue to work from home for this initial contact - you can bring that in if their reply is not great. Reason being is from your post that your manager has agreed to this already, puts you in a strong position from the start point. With your health situation, manager has agreed (is this in writing anywhere?), plus you are saying you are on task the law is very much on your side if all the facts are as stated.

Just a slightly different way to go for you to consider. All the best

[Rio]

Thank you everyone. Much appreciated

Not done anything as yet, but preparing something for when need arises

[YorksHammer]

Been struggling a bit this week, mostly due to poor/no sleep in the middle of the week. By Friday evening I was happy for the kids to pick a pair of films to watch and do nothing else with them, which isn't like me, especially on the one free night we have a week from after school stuff.

When I get tired my thoughts get so much more intrusive about letting down the kids with the divorce, or worrying about money, or fearing that this new job isn't going to work out, and often I can't shake them off like I do when I'm better rested. This week was a bit of a twist, my ex has got a new job starting in a couple of weeks. Means the weekly schedule with the kids flips completely and my one social day of the week, a Sunday, is going to become a day when I have the kids. Tough one to take as it's the day I've started my regular Roller Derby stuff on, and I think I might need to mostly knock that on the head as a result. I can shift around my evening in the pub to another day so that's not so bad, but losing out on the social interaction with people I've met over the past 6-9 months that I've really got along with, on top of the physical activity, is a bit of a kicker. I can deal with it, can probably even keep doing it, but it won't be as regular.

Had a lovely, if bloody freezing, walk yesterday morning with some friends that blew the cobwebs away and feeling a bit better now, although recognised that I need to take a bit better care of myself more generally - a lot of my lack of sleep is self inflicted just through sitting up for 'one more episode of this show/chapter of this book'. There's been a lot of that, especially the former, recently and I probably need to be stricter with myself, especially when I'm on my own of an evening.

Anybody got any tips for that? It feels simple, set a bedtime and stick with it, and sometimes I'm good at that but too often I let myself slip.

Happy Sunday, stay well folks.

[WHU Independent]

YH

You ever tried the "dion't break the chain" method?

1( Get a biggish calendar
2) Every time you do something (exercise, long walk etc) put a big red X on the calendar
3) Build up a chain of Red X's.

IIn the end you get attached/motivated by that chain and you don't wan't to see a break in it.

If you do break the chain, you can always start again!

At the end of the month you cam also see how many days you exrecised/didn't drink etc.

I'm currenty doing it for not drinking and it works a treat - 14 straight x's in a roware a wonderful sight to behold!

[sword]

This:

Had a lovely, if bloody freezing, walk yesterday morning with some friends that blew the cobwebs away and feeling a bit better now,

Any time I'm feeling down, I take myself off for a walk in some green space. It does wonders. Good on you, Yorks. Try it again, even if your friends aren't available, see if you feel even better

[Samba]

Been struggling a bit this week, mostly due to poor/no sleep in the middle of the week. By Friday evening I was happy for the kids to pick a pair of films to watch and do nothing else with them, which isn't like me, especially on the one free night we have a week from after school stuff.
Happy Sunday, stay well folks.

Hi Yorks,
Do you think the very understandable, disappointing thought of having to lose your Sunday stuff has affected your sleep? Is there ANY way that you can work around it?

[YorksHammer]

Hi Yorks,
Do you think the very understandable, disappointing thought of having to lose your Sunday stuff has affected your sleep? Is there ANY way that you can work around it?

It's entirely possible, Samba - I'm an overthinker anyway. Reaching out to friends to see if I can get a regular babysitter for the kids on a Sunday afternoon for a bit. There's also the option of me - and I say this very literally - putting the kids in a cupboard for the duration of my roller derby session. Basically they'd be there but have to stay in the kit cupboard for it. I don't particularly fancy doing that every weekend though, especially as that's my free time with the kids.

Basically, now that I've had a bit of time to think about it, I'm trying to work out a way to at least get through the first few weeks still doing stuff (mostly because that's what I've paid for...) and then will see how it settles after that, I think.

Thanks, folks. Planning on doing the red cross thing with a 15-30 minute walk every day

[mushy]

Yorks (and others).
Came across these sleeping tips earlier and thought of you.
Seem quite unusual and never tried them myself so I have no idea if they are any good.
Might be worth a try though.
https://www.walesonline.co.uk/news/uk-n ... k-26036658

[Tenbury]

OK, so what was the first thing that came to everyone's mind re getting to sleep and Walesonline??

[Alf Garnett's (Ex) Missus]

Just coming off a horrendous week...Younger sister had a heart attack on Sunday afternoon and was taken to Norfolk and Norwich University Hospital. 'Luckily' it was caused by SCAD (Spontaneous coronary artery dissection) a condition condition that occurs when a tear forms in a blood vessel in the heart.

Family were absolutely beside themselves as we lost my dad at the same age as my sister from a heart attack. She had a procedure to remove blood clots from the heart, and is waiting on a specialist appointment. While the condition is responsible for a small percentage (about 1 to 4 percent) of all heart attacks, SCAD is the cause of about one-third of heart attacks in women younger than 50. And, it's the leading cause of pregnancy-associated heart attacks and is linked to hormone treatments.

I spent the week running between Huntingdon, Essex, Norfolk and Norwich and it's just really hit home, especially feeling I had to be the brave face being the eldest.

She is home and resting, so no immediate danger thankfully, but certainly puts things in perspective.

[wolf359]

YH

You ever tried the "dion't break the chain" method?

Good post, works for me (digitally) / I am a slave to my Apple 'rings' and often look at it at 8pm and realize I need 5 minutes exercise to 'close' which I do (a walk, run up/down the stairs/some floor exercise) , they set goals, do it 20 days a months, 7 day streak etc. Basically a digital version of the calendar (which a few extras - my Apple watch nags me if I have not 'closed' for example - which I could turn off but I don't want to)

I also have a big widget on my phone showing me my 'dry' streak.. Says 388 days currently and I have no desire for it to return to zero.

On the divorce and as a single parent (since she was 2) with roughly 50% care I have always had the fear I was 'lesser', now she is 13 and approaching the age she can choose where she goes leads to my worst nightmare, her choosing not to come to me. I doubt it will happen but I have feared it for several years. I cannot compete with her mum (she and her partner have more money, are more sociable and to me at least seem better at it all.)

All I can do is do my best really, she can't be in two places at once.

[last.caress]

Just coming off a horrendous week...Younger sister had a heart attack on Sunday afternoon... She is home and resting, so no immediate danger thankfully, but certainly puts things in perspective.

I'm sorry to read all that AG(X)M. Must be terrifying to think you're seeing history repeating itself but I'm glad to read that your sister's home now and recuperating nicely.

[S-H]

Just coming off a horrendous week.

So sorry to hear that, hopefully your sister is now on the road to recovery, and you can all put this behind you.

Hope you're doing ok.

[btajim - mcfc]

A username from back in the day! Wishing your a quick and full recovery.

[OFT]

Just coming off a horrendous week...

She is home and resting, so no immediate danger thankfully, but certainly puts things in perspective.

Horrendous indeed.
Very best wishes to her and you AG'

[ageing hammer]

Sorry to read that AG(X)M wishing her a speedy recovery

[YorksHammer]

That must have been awful, AG. Glad tonhear your sister's back and, hopefully, recovering.

On the divorce and as a single parent (since she was 2) with roughly 50% care I have always had the fear I was 'lesser', now she is 13 and approaching the age she can choose where she goes leads to my worst nightmare, her choosing not to come to me. I doubt it will happen but I have feared it for several years. I cannot compete with her mum (she and her partner have more money, are more sociable and to me at least seem better at it all.)

I have this exact same thing, Wolf. Mine are 7 and 9 now and they are always very happy to see me and spend time with me. But from my side we do small things together - the odd day out, but never something 'big'. Their mum takes them to things like Strictly Live or away camping in the summer, plans weekend getaways and all that, while I'm like 'shall we go for a walk and have a Morrisons breakfast today?'. I've kind of just come to an acceptance that as long as I do my best as a father to show them they're loved unconditionally by me, and continue to support them and do things they actively want to do, then hopefully it'll never come to it that they choose to not spend time with me. But I don't half have the fear that in 5 or so years they'll turn around one day and ask to see me less.

[Samba]

OK, so what was the first thing that came to everyone's mind re getting to sleep and Walesonline??

Is it wellies?

[btajim - mcfc]

Kids are often closer to one parent than the other. I am far closer to mum and my sister was always closer to dad. He passed away well over 30 years ago.