The Mental Health Thread - (Help Contacts in First Post).

[YorksHammer]

Tenbury - could you go to the pub but drink soft drinks? Or would the temptation be too much, do you think?

I barely ever drink at the pub nowadays (I barely even drink, to be honest, the occasional Guinness if I'm feeling particularly giddy), so am pretty happy with a Heineken/Becks Blue or whatever the alcohol free beer is, or a lemonade.

I've had a little dip recently - my weekly schedule in terms of having/seeing the kids has shifted, so although I still get my three and a half days a week (Wednesday school pick up through to Saturday evening) I've gone from never being without the kids for much more than 36 hours to now having a long stretch from Saturday evening through to Wednesday school pick up without them. I don't think I'd anticipated that having a major impact on me - in fact, when it was suggested, it all seemed beneficial as I would have better time with the kids as they have no clubs on a Friday night. But the long stretch without them has been really hard.

I'm sure I'll adjust, but there's a little grey cloud where I wasn't really expecting it to appear. Think I'm just going to have to try to stay busy on the days I don't have them for a bit, whatever that looks like, and push through.

[Tenbury]

There's no prob with going to the pub and soft drinks/etc, I've done it before when I've been on some meds that didn't mix with booze, I think what's hit me is the idea that I just can't be bothered.
More than that, it shows that stuff I thought I valued was just crap.. then, of the things I've ever done deliberately, what is of any value... etc, etc. In the past, this has looked differently through the bottom of a glass.

[btajim - mcfc]

I’d be lucky to see dad twice a year. On several occasions, he’d have us in Pembrokeshire for a week but not take time off work. We’d get farmed around relatives. At 12, I made a decision to stop going to see him. He hadn’t applied for any custody but mum allowed him access when he’d sporadically want it.

I won’t have children now because of my recent health scare but I often fear they’ve never appealed to me because of the crap experience I had from him.

[Mega Ron]

I’d be lucky to see dad twice a year. On several occasions, he’d have us in Pembrokeshire for a week but not take time off work. We’d get farmed around relatives. At 12, I made a decision to stop going to see him. He hadn’t applied for any custody but mum allowed him access when he’d sporadically want it.

I won’t have children now because of my recent health scare but I often fear they’ve never appealed to me because of the crap experience I had from him.

My experience Jim is if making efforts to never be like my parents.

Having an absent father and emotionally distant mother has led to me always being there for my kids, and to leaving no doubt about how much I care about them.

Even so, I've made them support West Ham. So, I've messed them up anyway.

[btajim - mcfc]

My dad supported Spurs!

It’s now evident bowel issues have gone down the male line of my family so I’m never inflicting that on a son. Being a dad has just never appealed to me. There could be a variety of reasons behind this.

[Samba]

Bump

[btajim - mcfc]

As with most Mondays, I’m at an inclusive karaoke night at one of my locals. It’s organised by a local group who ensure that their members can have a safe and controlled night out. There’s an accessible toilet etc. Anyone from wheelchair users to people with learning difficulties are here. It really is a pleasure to see everyone enjoying themselves immensely.

Even an Aspie with depression and his stoma bag is in the house…

[rigoberts song]

Quick bump hope everyone is OK or at least coping.
Sending best wishes

[mushy]

I note that today's London Evening Standard has an article on our own Michael Antonio and his own struggles with mental health while at West Ham.

[rigoberts song]

Yes I saw that good read didn't know if it was because he totaled his lambo dressed as a snow man.

[btajim - mcfc]

I just murdered Yellow by Coldplay at karaoke. “Is that the first time you’ve sang that?” asked DJ Matt as I skulked off stage to muted applause. Oh well, Tubthumping by Chumbawba next.

You’re never gonna keep me down… Depression, major surgery yet I’m still here!

[OFT]

I just murdered Yellow by Coldplay at karaoke.

Probably devastatingly true to the Chris Martin version then Jim


How's everyone bearing up here ?

[Cockneyboy311]

One of my best friends, who has been suffering with his mental health for over a decade tried to commit suicide a few weeks ago. I won't go into detail about that, but it was no halfhearted attempt let's just say that. He only survived due to the quick response of the Ambulance service, and eventually required the Air Ambulance to take him to the Royal London.

I had only seen him the day before, and for him he was pretty good. Quite with it. Just goes to show you that you have no idea what's going on insides somebody's head.

This will be the 3rd time he has been sectioned now, and I just don't see a way out for him. It's all so very sad.

[btajim - mcfc]

So very, very sad. From the outside, it can seem such a profoundly irrational thing to want to do but, when it's you, it makes perfect sense. I've left my home on several occasions feeling suicidal yet neglected to get help. Thankfully I did back in 2020 but I made some ridiculous decisions over the previous 15 years from a toxic relationship to walking out of successive jobs with nothing lined up. I was depressed but just didn't know.

Everything crossed for your friend to get some real professional help.

[Combs]

Hi all. More of a lurker than a poster and even though I’ve been on KUMB for over 20 years. I am writing this today as a kind of therapy for myself and I’m not sure if I’ll actually click the submit button.

My brothers and I used to be season ticket holders in the BML at Upton Park in the 2000s and even though we watched some dross, I have many good memories, hence me being on here as WHU was the one thing that we shared a passion for. But I had to give up my ticket when I decided to emigrate in 2005 to chase a happier life.

As young adults both of my brothers saw the attraction of drugs and I was the boring one. Sadly long-term usage saw my youngest brother ‘J’ develop drug induced psychosis and he had once attempted suicide which I was unaware of until he was sectioned whilst here in Australia on a surprise visit.

This resulted in a bust up between myself and my middle brother ‘B’ and we stopped speaking for a while and even after things thawed, any exchange from him via social media was always terse. He had his own issues with a messy divorce and losing access to his kids during the process.

Being in Aus, I missed both my brothers and although J had been repeatedly sectioned, he seemed to be getting better with long term meds. B was in a downward spiral and he ended up having a short spell in prison.

When B got out and he managed to gain access to his kids, I honestly thought he would turn things around. But he was consumed by his ex and wanted to see the kids on his terms and not hers. I’m not sure if that resulted in heavier drug use, but we believe from some of his behaviour that he developed psychosis himself.

Sadly last week on Nov 8th, B took his own life on the M25. I am struggling to come to terms with it and the pain of knowing that I’ll never see him again is unbearable. I have been prone to suicide ideation before and I’m trying to suppress the thoughts.

Sorry I’m not sure what message this is meant to be but by typing this out and having a good sob in the process I am hoping that my current pain will lessen.

[pablo jaye]

Combs - so sorry for your loss, such a tough thing to go through. Thank you for pressing the ‘submit’ button though, as talking about it is a hard step to take but important in the grief process.

[S-H]

Sorry I’m not sure what message this is meant to be but by typing this out and having a good sob in the process I am hoping that my current pain will lessen.

So sorry for your loss Combs, please don't apologise for posting, if typing it out and having a good sob, in any way helped you, then that is exactly what this place is for.

Keep posting, especially if helps.

Hope things easier for you soon.

take care.

[btajim - mcfc]

Getting things written down can be very therapeutic. Perhaps it’s a feeling that it’s leaving you internally. I write myself for a couple of football fanzines. It’s unpaid but I love it.

Well done for pressing the submit button too.

[-DL-]

Combs, I sadly know full well what it feels like to lose a sibling and not be in any control over it. Whilst my situation was different to yours, I still found myself in a position where I was isolated and unable to do anything to try and pick him up - but there were times previously where I had tried to help and the help wasn't ever acted upon. Whilst mine wasn't suicide, my brother drank himself to death at 40, leaving kids behind and people that genuinely loved and cared about him.

It's absolutely fantastic that you came on here and typed out how you're feeling and hit that submit button - that took a lot of bottle, and if it in any way has helped you 'get it out' so to speak, then that can only be a good thing.

At the moment, it's still raw, but the old addage of time is a great healer is so true, it should never be dismissed.

There's a lot of support on here, and we're overall a good bunch - and if you feel the need to vent, my PMs are always open.

Take care of yourself, that's the important thing - and there's more than a few people on here that will have your back if needed - even if you are on the other side of the world.

[OFT]

Combs
Sorry for your loss.
As I would expect the support in this place is great. It's a dreadful thing that you have to deal with and to post and share here may go some small way to help.

Very best wishes.