The Mental Health Thread - (Help Contacts in First Post).

[OFT]

cheers Samba.

Got mesen in a bit of a panic there. initially told refer back to GP no further action from hospital. Then got a phone call and following letter from the team who removed Dad's stomach, led by the same surgeon.
Anyroads, following said phone appointment, it's all good, the official conclusion, I'm a big girls blouse.

Don't you dare ride it home & break it..

And it really has:-
got a basket, a bell on it and things to make it look good.

One for the older fans there

[Samba]

Anyroads, following said phone appointment, it's all good, the official conclusion, I'm a big girls blouse.

Usually a good thing to be!

[Samba]

Bumping from the second page.

[btajim - mcfc]

We’ve mental health allies at work now. I think everyone is finally beginning to understand.

God, I wish I’d got help at 25 when I made some horrendous mistakes. For years, I was always on edge and slightly unhappy. Diagnosis and medication has made things so much better.

Please, if you’re feeling crap, see your GP.

[Tenbury]

Two close friends have gone with cancer these last 2 yrs. Turns out the kids' Nonno has weeks left with the same thing. My sister's has returned, after 3 yrs, and another good mate has just been diagnosed with a cancer so rare the oncologists have him down as some kind of celebrity, and, of course, my best mate (like a brother, ex boxer, ex bouncer, etc) is struggling with the stem cell treatment for blood cancer.
Seems I'm a dangerous bloke to know. Now tell me there's an upside to being old.

[Samba]

Two close friends have gone with cancer these last 2 yrs. Turns out the kids' Nonno has weeks left with the same thing. My sister's has returned, after 3 yrs, and another good mate has just been diagnosed with a cancer so rare the oncologists have him down as some kind of celebrity, and, of course, my best mate (like a brother, ex boxer, ex bouncer, etc) is struggling with the stem cell treatment for blood cancer.
Seems I'm a dangerous bloke to know. Now tell me there's an upside to being old.

As a great bard once said, "Life's a piece of sh*t, When you look at it"..
It's not you Tenners, the older we get the more people we'll know that die & cancer is sadly, still all too common.
Anyway, who told you there was any upside to being old? I'll kill the b*stard..

[wolf359]

I'm not sure about posting this in here, but the thread title is 'the Mental Health tread', not 'the bad mental health thread'. So I am going to go ahead with this. Firstly I look at this pretty much every day, life is a bit **** really, but humans (in general) are not and this is shown so often.

OK, I am going to say it. I AM IN A GOOD PLACE

There, I'm happy (is that allowed?)

Now a long story.

I've had a rough 10+ years coping with the end of my marriage, without going through all the details (they are in this thread somewhere) I have sleep walked through my 30s and am now in my mid 40s. I have been on and off antidepressants (never managing to stay on them, always deciding 'what was the point' and stopping.) I've slowly put on weight, become progressively unfit, eat crap, drank more. I was a poster boy for a mentally troubled single 40 year old man (and we know what the statics say about that)

One thing had remained constant through that time, my job. I've made no secret that I didn't like aspects of it but I didn't really understand how bad it was for me until recently. My doctor (who is great btw. basically my shrink) said that the way I describe work is akin to mental and emotional abuse (not the same, not saying that, but traits of it).

They left me feeling useless, with no confidence at all, with no belief in my abilities or desire to develop/improve. They sucked the life out of everything. I felt so useless that I was trapped, why would anyone else employ a duffer like me, so I stayed in this 'toxic' relationship.

I was existing, dreading Monday mornings, getting to Friday drinking/eating in some celebration for 'surviving' and then by Saturday afternoon the 'dread' returned. As well as that I was always counting down to the next holiday, I was just wishing my time on this rock away.

Fast forward - I applied for VR in May and eventually it was granted in September. Dobbie was free.

However I wasn't ready to jump back into work (that was the plan). I actually got worse for a while, eating, drink and hardly bothering to get out of bed. My fear had moved to finding a new job.

I randomly went back to the doctors in October (a subconscious cry for help?) and went back on the pills with the promise I won't stop them (which I haven't) .

I'm going on a bit here, Christmas came I still felt ****, new work was looming. However I hosted the family for Christmas day, cooked the dinner and in retrospect this was a turning point, it was a good day. I promised myself to find work in the New Year.

To facilitate this (and with the pills kicking in) I made some changes, decided to clean up my eating, do dry January and ensure I showered, got dressed and did some exercise everyday (even if it was just some laps of Tesco)

I also enrolled onto a few teaching agencies (not something I really wanted to do but I didn't feel able to go for anything else). This unfortunately played out like I expected I did two (horrible) days in a school and told them 'nope'.

THE TURNING POINT

This would have knocked me back in the recent past, but this time it didn't next day I got up and applied for several jobs. I got lots of interest with two contacting me within 24 hours and in just over a week I was interviewed and offered a job in the Private Sector (scary for a Public sector boy)

I started late February and it has changed my life to be honest. I am valued, praised, they care about my development and I actually want to go to work. This has had a knock on, without 'fearing' Monday I have my weekend back, I am no longer counting down the days and can actually think about living them.

I am still 'dry' 101 days, lost a huge amount of weight (I don't know what my 'max' was, but I am 16Kg down from my recorded high in September.) I no longer ache when I wake up (my knees and ankles would hurt in the morning after pizza, late nights and wine.)

Lastly I am reducing the happy pills with the doctors blessing with the aim of coming off them early summer. I'll still have bad days, I am still a loaner (but cool with that) and I now a 'boring' non-drinking, gym going, calorie counting sod but I am happy with that.

I suppose the moral of this story is, things can get better and no one should put up with a **** job (but I understand why it can be difficult to leave.)

Hope this helped, made someone think.

Wolf.

[S-H]

Good post wolfie, I'm glad to hear it.

[Tenbury]

Wolfie, really pleased things are coming together, more than that, this thread needs good positive stories, thanks for sharing.

[smuts]

Fantastic Wolfie.

[Jennings]

Inspirational Wolfie, thank you for posting that.

It very much mirrors my personal life experience.

I was in a stressful job I loathed.
Went through divorce.
Drank way, way more than was healthy
Dabbled with but never stuck with antidepressants
Was in my forties

I can add to that a crappy nicotine & marijuana habit.

Things got so bad with me fantasising about, & making plans about suicide that my GP considered putting me into care.

Looking back, it seems like that was a different person because life is really so ****ing good to me these days.

The biggest thing for me was also changing my job, closely followed by quitting the booze completely (I do have an occasional drink now but it’s rare), and thirdly I began to explore a far more spiritual way of being. Nowadays I’m so grateful for the smallest of things that the day to day **** that life throws at me never sticks.

I reckon things are just going to get better & better for you too.

[OFT]

Wolfie and Jennings

Great stuff

[pablo jaye]

Great posts Wolfie and Jennings both quite inspirational.

Wolfie, it is totally OK to be OK … and also, OK to be not OK.

Some of the things you mention, ie relationships with food and drink do change as you get older. I am slowly getting to the place where I realise that I can’t drink or eat as much as I used to - and feeling crap after I have have overindulged in one or both, wasn’t where I wanted to be.

My mindset is changing slowly - I don’t have to drink as much to have a good time and sometimes it is good to totally abstain. Also, I am eating a lot healthier - don’t eat as much meat and am quite happy to eat something veggie or vegan, as they can be as tasty. Potion size has changed dramatically too. Overall, I feel in a better place generally.

[fjthegrey]

Hope this helped, made someone think.

Wolf.

Have you completely knocked the WOW on the head as well bud?

[Turns to Stone]

This is really positive, Wolfie. I'mhoping that something in my working life changes in the coming 6 months, and your post is genunely inspiring. Well done, mate.

Hope it keeps up and it inspires others to change.

[wolf359]

Have you completely knocked the WOW on the head as well bud?

Totally. Just dropped it like a stone. Went from 60+ (well sometimes nearer 100) hours a week to struggling to do an hour so I’ve cancelled my subscription. I can't 'play' WoW a bit, it is designed to 'no life it' so I'd rather not play at all. Also I was no longer playing it because I enjoyed it, it was escapism and deflection from my 'real world' problem. The very definition of addiction.

I’ve been going gym and studying/reading around work in the evenings (the learning is because I want to, no one is asking me too)

Oh I just passed my first Microsoft vendor quali in ten years this morning (work happy to pay me whilst I sit it - such a change to before)

AZ-900 the first Azure one (which I'll be delivering later this year). Want to move on and do 104 and then 800-801 (will mean something to some here)

I’ve done many in the distant past - My MCSE is on Windows Server 2003 and my first was on configuring Windows XP but this is my first go at the new 'Cloud' era.

[fjthegrey]

Totally. Just dropped it like a stone. Went from 60+ (well sometimes nearer 100)

This must have been a massive part of your turnaround as well. Good work.

[btajim - mcfc]

I personally wouldn’t come off my Citalopram without full medical support. I take my daily 20mg as the kettle is boiling with water for my morning cup of tea. My depression was only mild but I’ve been taking them since March 2020.

[Crouchend_Hammer]

I am hoping to ease off my sertaline over next four months or so
I take 150mg a day and plan to go down in 25mg installments.
I am speaking to my psychiatrist about it this afternoon as it goes

Great post Wolfie

[mushy]

They left me feeling useless, with no confidence at all, with no belief in my abilities or desire to develop/improve. They sucked the life out of everything. I felt so useless that I was trapped, why would anyone else employ a duffer like me, so I stayed in this 'toxic' relationship.


Wolf.

Classic Co-dependency/trauma bonding.
More common then many people think, both in our personal relationships and the workplace.
Make boundaries and try and keep them.


Brilliant post wolf, full of honesty and thanks for that.
Same for you Jennings, wishing you both nothing but good fortune and happiness.
Keep fighting and keep posting.