Premier League
West Ham United 2-0 Swansea City 

Saturday, 1st February 2014
by Gordon Thrower

Strange day all round. I was woken by the sight of bright yellow thing in the sky making my eyes hurt. A brief look in my Observer's Book Of Strange Things In The Sky, a few pages after the entry for Peter Crouch's head, showed that the bright shiny yellow thing was, in fact, the Sun, a yellow dwarf star about which this planet orbits at a distance of about 93,000,000 miles.

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Player Ratings

Adrian San Miguel del Castillo
Little to do in the way of shot-stopping but he commanded the box well. Confidence in your 'keeper is handy for a back four.

Guy Demel
Not given much to do defensively in the first half whe he got forward well. Had a lot of covering to do after Flores' maiming but tracked his men well.

George McCartney
Same as Demel ?EUR" it was his willingness to exploit space going forward that led to the first goal.

James Collins
This was his sort of game ?EUR" sleeves up and battle away. Took an early ?EUR" and probably deliberate ?EUR" elbow from Cheato which Webb saw. Simply dabbed a bit of blood off his lip and got on with it. Someone might want to add that bit of footage to Carroll's appeal tape. And show it to those who think Webb is actually a good ref.

James Tomkins
Excellent performance ?EUR" the perfectly-timed tackle on Bony was worth the mark on its own.

Mark Noble
Ran his legs off again ?EUR" even more so when we went down to ten men.

Matt Taylor
Not a player that you'd be usually be looking to for inspiration but in this match and in the match at Chelsea the sheer amount of hard work that he got through merits comment. What we need at the moment.

Matt Jarvis

Stewart Downing
The defensive covering side of his game is not one that you'd be looking for as a rule but once the game changed he was another one who knuckled down and got through more than his fair share of the work burden.

Kevin Nolan
I'm still not convinced that he should still have the skipper's armband after what he did at Fulham. However, this was a fine game for him. He looks twice the player when Carroll's around. The goals were superbly taken and he was another who ran himself into the ground when it was needed. Credit where it's due ?EUR" MOTM.

Andy Carroll
Set up his mate for the goals brilliantly and was dominating proceedings so much that it took a disgraceful combination of Flores and Webb to stop him in his tracks. Had he lasted the ninety he'd have been on the scoresheet without a doubt. It's a travesty that his next few games depend on the whim of an organisation noted for its lack of intelligence and common sense. Keep them crossed.


Carlton Cole
Came on to give us an outlet when Carroll wet off. Bless him he battled gamely but his first touch isn't improving with age.

Winston Reid
Replaced Taylor late on. Good to see him back ?EUR" he'll have sterner tests to come.

Antonio Nocerino
Came in for Nolan and carried on where the skipper left off.

Jussi Jaaskelainen
Did not play.

Roger Johnson
Did not play.

Ravel Morrison
Did not play.

Marco Borriello
Did not play.

Match Facts

West Ham United: Adrian San Miguel del Castillo, Guy Demel, George McCartney, James Collins, James Tomkins, Mark Noble, Matt Taylor, Matt Jarvis, Stewart Downing, Kevin Nolan, Andy Carroll.

Goals: Kevin Nolan 26 Kevin Nolan 45                .

Booked: Mark Noble 33          .

Sent Off: Andy Carroll 59    .

Swansea City: Gerhard Tremmel, Chico Flores, Dwight Tiendalli, Ashley Williams, Ben Davies, Jordi Amat, Nathan Dyer, Jonjo Shelvey, Jonathan De Guzman, Wayne Routledge, Wilfried Bony.

Subs not used: David Cornell, Leon Britton, Angel Rangel, Roland Lamah.

Goals: None.

Booked: None booked..

Sent off: None.

Referee: Howard Webb.

Attendance: 31,848.

Man of the Match: Kevin Nolan.