Premier League
Manchester City 3 West Ham United 0

Sunday, 24th August 2008
by Gordon Thrower

I nearly didn’t do this one. Plans for a looooooong weekend away kept altering and with the crumbling rail infrastructure making any sensible journey difficult by public transport I’d resigned myself to enduring the match on the V. Then young Tomas had a football tournament cancelled, Upton Girlie became free and a door to door lift became available so I decided to brave the north. How I wished I hadn’t bothered.

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Player Ratings

Robert Green
Solid enough and ?EUR" one save in the first half apart ?EUR" not really tested. The second goal found him on walkabout however.

Valon Behrami
Not a right back for me. Given a rough time by Petrov.

Lucas Neill
Everyone knows he?EUR(TM)s not a right back. Not a bad first half but mugged twice in the second for goals. Get well soon Linda.

Calum Davenport
Battled bravely but distribution was poor.

Matthew Upson
Battled well but clearances from crosses on our right left a lot to be desired ?EUR" see first goal for details.

Scott Parker
Kept bringing the ball out of defence. Kept losing it.

Nark Noble
Guilty of stupidity really. If you have a ref who is going to book you for a soft handball, diving in to a challenge a few minutes later is not sensible.

Julien Faubert
Turned promise into despair far too often.

Matthew Etherington
The players stayed in he same hotel as us. We were trying to work out who had had our rooms before us. My room showed no signs of anyone ever having stayed there before. There was no tell-tale sign of presence whatsoever. You?EUR(TM)d never have known anyone had been there at all. I presume I had Etheringon?EUR(TM)s room.

Dean Ashton
Didn?EUR(TM)t look particularly inspiring even before his day became one big hiding to nothing.

Carlton Cole
Ran down a few blind alleys. Lost the ball a few times. Got injured. Went Off.


Fred Sears
(replaced Cole, 31) Andy Warhol once said something very profound about everyone being famous for 15 minutes. That was all the time Sears had (though it?EUR(TM)s safe to assume that Warhol did not have a short run out in Manchester before being sacrificed at half-time in mind when he made his statement).

Hayden Mullins

Luis Boa Morte
(replaced Etherington, 74) Showed more presence in his few minutes than Etherington had all match. Unfortunately that wasn?EUR(TM)t too difficult a task.

Jan Lastuvka
Did not play.

Jordan Spence
Did not play.

Lee Bowyer
Did not play.

Kyel Reid
Did not play.

Match Facts

West Ham United: Robert Green, Valon Behrami, Lucas Neill, Calum Davenport, Matthew Upson, Scott Parker, Nark Noble, Julien Faubert, Matthew Etherington, Dean Ashton, Carlton Cole.

Goals: None.

Booked: Calon Behrami 23 Mark Noble 33        .

Sent Off: Mark Noble 38    .

Manchester City: Hart, Corluka, Richards, Ben Haim, Ball, Ireland, Kompany, Johnson, Petrov, Elano, Sturridge.

Subs not used: Schmeichel, Garrido, Fernandes, Calcido.

Goals: Sturridge (65), Elano (70, 76).

Booked: None.

Sent off: None.

Referee: Howard Webb.

Attendance: 36,635.

Man of the Match: Robert Green.