The opposition view: Tottenham Hotspur

  • by Staff Writer
  • Monday, 19th October 2020

The latest edition of the Opposition View is a thing of beauty and quite possibly this section's magnum opus, being as it is an extended journey through Sunday's London derby at The Lane.

'Cup Final' - check; 'World Cup' - check. Racist epithets - check; overblown sense of self worth - check. Ludicrous title ambitions - check and 'goblins' - che... wait, what? Anyway, enjoy enjoy the glory glory and beware of colourful language throughout.

Pre-match bravado

"It would not surprise me to see West Ham park the bus here. We shouldn't fear fucking anyone. Least of all a West Ham side who feel like they are invincible after, let's be honest, two very good results."
- Totti, The Fighting Cock

"Apparently they have a great record against us.. This is the biggest pile of horse shit in football and nearly as bad as them claiming to have won the World Cup. In the last 30 games, they have beaten us 8 times and we have beaten them 16 times. They still claim their greatest achievement in their history is beating us away at the new ground, to put that into context we have won the last 4 on the trot at the banter bowl. But they have a great recent record against us apparently. This proves just how far ahead of them we really are."
- SouthStand Billy, The Fighting Cock

"I'd call in sick if i was west ham."
- Andersen, The Fighting Cock

"I'm always wary about these, you know that feeling when you dont like something or a team? Well thats how I feel about these. Always want them to lose every week. Think it stemmed a lot from Lasagne gate, but I never really liked them before that, sadly I do not know why."
- journeyman, Planet Spurs

"Imagine being a fan of this irrelevant club LOL. They remind me of a chihuahua. Thinking they’re all that, giving it big. But, really, all they are is a pathetic, yappy little fucker that everyone finds annoying."
- Ealesy, The Fighting Cock

"Always a must win game, losing to the Caravan Folk spoils my whole week."
- Dorset, Proper Spursy

"Son, Kane, Bale, Lo Celso, Højbjerg, Ndombele - what is a team like West Ham going to be able to do against that? It gets to the point where there's just nothing you can do and I hope we get to see oppositions completely fall apart against us this year because of the sheer volume of attacking quality we have. Our defence is arguably a little shaky but our front 6 is the best in the league, fight me."
- goatseducer70, The Fighting Cock

"Surely a win for us. I can't remember the last time we had so many good stories coming out of the training ground. That win over Manure lifted everyone. We embarrassed them! Has anyone else noticed that it is getting harder and harder to pick the starting 11 when everyone is fit? That is always a good sign of strength in depth."
- Cromulentmart, Spurs Web

"Tough game for us, we've had half our squad away being knackered by their countries while Spammers have been preparing for their cup final. I dont think Bale will play and our defence will be missing a couple of players. Keep it tight and grind out a win, that will do nicely."
- K.D.D.D.D.Soc, Glory Glory

"Most of that side are there for the paycheck and they know with the fans, it's turn up for their cup finals and they get a pass the rest of the season. Other good news for us is Moyes is back on the touchline (their two good performance coincided with him not being on training ground or pitch side at game)."
- Raziel, Glory Glory

"In the Chelsea season, didn't they puncture any lingering hope of the league at their place? The horrific 0-3 at WHL started the final descent for AVB too. Christ, memories flooding back. I remember them whacking us 4-1 at the Lane in 1994 too when we were looking like relegation candidates. Fudge, I was confident of battering them tomorrow...not so much now."
- DeanoAustin, Glory Glory

"We'll fucking murder them. 6-0."
- tiger666, Spurs Community

Minute 1: Tottenham 1-0 West Ham Utd

"Lol, a goal already. Was gonna say I would have started Bale for the extra lift but looks like we won't need it."
- ItsBoris, Spurs Community

"Piece of piss. I want five!"
- VirginiaSpur, The Fighting Cock

"Are you Man U in disguise?"
- Y*d, Proper Spursy

"Kane is genuinely the best passer in the world."
- Ealesy, The Fighting Cock

"Too good for this p*key shite."
- Mr8ball, Spurs Web

"We are gonna win the fucking league aren't we!?"
- Totti, The Fighting Cock

"FFS Spam. At least make it fun."
- scaramanga, Glory Glory

"They tried they did old spam. Bless em!"
- HeroesAndVillains, The Fighting Cock

"In your face, Noble."
- Johnny J, Spurs Community

"Fuck it. We’re winning this league. I don’t give a fuck. JOSE MOURINHO, JOSE MOURINHO!!"
- halothagod, The Fighting Cock

Minute 8: Tottenham 2-0 West Ham Utd

"2-0! Be wary of West Ham. they said. GTFO - gonna smash em!"
- Casparian, Spurs Community

"What’s it like over at KUMB?"
- Murphy, The Fighting Cock

"Kane - Ballon d'Or anyone?"
- TheTanguy, Spurs Community

"Fuck. Its happening. Its really happening."
- poch's coat, The Fighting Cock

"Oh my fucking god, the mood around this club right now is amazing."
- Hazelton, Spurs Community

"I just KUMBed."
- Samisspurs, The Fighting Cock

"Honestly, if we don't get 9 it'll be a failure. Be professional and ruthless."
- monkeybarry, Glory Glory

"The league is ours."
- tedesco23, The Fighting Cock

"That's it, I am lumping on us to win the league now before the odds collapse."
- tototoner, Spurs Community

"At this rate we are going to get 18 only, I'm worried."
- Trojanhorse, The Fighting Cock

Minute 16: Tottenham 3-0 West Ham Utd

"Too fucking easy. Where is the drama? Jose out."
- Atomic knob, The Fighting Cock

"Blow these tin pot **** teams out of the water, then we leave no chance for the **** corrupt officials to fuck us over."
- tony0379, Spurs Community

"I want us to destroy them so fudging hard."
- stinkfoot, Glory Glory

"My dick can't get harder than this."
- BF3, The Fighting Cock

"I don't doubt the 18 but you think we can keep a clean sheet, even against this shower?"
- scaramanga, Glory Glory

"We are Brazil 1970."
- scott, The Fighting Cock

"75 mins of damage limitation for West Ham now. How do you even do that?!"
- monkeybarry, Glory Glory

"Yeah how many people have had enough of Jose Mourinho and his negative football..and shit tactics. Over the hill has been, they say... well. Just that we are now the highest scorers in the league with the best goal difference...if this is turgid ...I can wait to see what good is!"
- whitestreak, Spurs Community

"Does the towel get thrown in at 10?"
- camspur, Glory Glory

"Something special is gonna happen."
- CroSpurs, The Fighting Cock

Minute 82: Tottenham 3-1 West Ham Utd

- Thin Lilywhite Duke, The Fighting Cock

"I really hope Kane hitting the post isnt going to come back to haunt us."
- paxtonwolf, Glory Glory

"Annoying with no clean sheet. Jose won't be happy."
- Totti, The Fighting Cock

"Ffs - they've been the better team for 65 minites."
- Really!!!, Planet Spurs

"What a shit half."
- theromanianjackass, The Fighting Cock

"Dammit, no clean sheet ..."
- indospurs, Glory Glory

"Everyone going on about a back up striker when it was abundantly clear that we needed a top quality centre back."
- The Hood, The Fighting Cock

"Fuck that West Ham goal. Bale has looked less than sharp, but i love seeing him out there."
- USspur, Proper Spursy

"We need to keep it tight for the next 10 minutes."
- paxtonwolf, Glory Glory

"Let’s not repeat that 3-2 from last year please."
- tedesco23, The Fighting Cock

Minute 85: Tottenham 3-2 West Ham Utd

"What the fuck is this?"
- Murphy, The Fighting Cock

"Oh for fucks sake, whats going on here?"
- TonySoprano, The Fighting Cock

"Played this second half all wrong. Sanchez needs to be sold."
- thinktank, The Fighting Cock

"Ah bollocks. Not again."
- imitationleather, The Fighting Cock

"I’m going to break something if we don’t win this."
- THFC-Israel, The Fighting Cock

"A trophy and 4th would be an overachievement. Title-winning teams don't produce sich a rubbish 2nd half."
- MindBlown, The Fighting Cock

"Why do we always do this against these? We panic, it's the big question mark around us."
- I hate Scousers, The Fighting Cock

"You're fucking joking, how can we allow those c*nts to get back in the game, they should be dead and buried. Disgraceful!"
- MVP, The Fighting Cock

"West Ham like fucking roaches........why won't you die?"
- bunburyist, The Fighting Cock

"This is exactly why we won't win the league right here, champions don't fluff a 3-0 with 10 to play and then spend 8 minutes sweating on an equaliser."
- I hate Scousers, The Fighting Cock

"We are never going to live this down if we blow this lead."
- paxtonwolf, Glory Glory

"Fair play to West Ham, they haven't given up after the opening barrage like Utd did. I feel like I've seen this movie before."
- SubZero, Glory Glory

"I'm gonna smash my TV if we don't win this!"
- Kandi1977, Glory Glory

"What the fuck is going on?"
- tooey, Spurs Community

"This is just pathetic."
- Garbob, Spurs Community

"West Ham are always a big f***ing problem for us."
- Indisguise, Spurs Community

Minute 88: Gareth Bale misses a sitter

"Oh Gareth!!!!"
- felmani26, Spurs Community

"That's a really poor finish from Bale - overdid it."
- monkeybarry, Glory Glory

"I nearly spunked everywhere then."
- Murphy, The Fighting Cock

"Jesus, Bale should have buried that."
- tototoner, Spurs Community

"We are going to regret that..."
- paxtonwolf, Glory Glory

Minute 93: Tottenham 3-3 West Ham Utd

"You have got to be fucking kidding me."
- TottsAmazeballs, The Fighting Cock

"I feel sick."
- Phomesy, Spurs Community

"This can't happen."
- aramak, Planet Spurs

"C*nts. I hate them all."
- Robbo, Glory Glory

"Oh just fuck off."
- simfin, The Fighting Cock

"Quit football."
- roslau, Spurs Community

"I'm going to kill myself."
- Thin Lilywhite Duke, The Fighting Cock

"That’s terrible from the players, absolutely terrible. Overconfident bunch of pricks."
- Havocc, Proper Spursy

"Where the fudge was the VAR for the obstruction to allow that goal?"
- scaramanga, Glory Glory

"We deserve that for the 2nd half."
- bonaspur23, The Fighting Cock

"I want to kill someone."
- Hakkz, Spurs Community

"And people wonder why we will never win the league."
- paxtonwolf, Glory Glory

"This is what happened when everyone gets fucking arrogant on here."
- I hate Scousers, The Fighting Cock

"I can't fucking believe it. What an absolute disaster. And some think we could win the league this year."
- Johnny J, Spurs Community

"Jose out, fucking useless c*nts. Fuck off Levy, fuck off Jose, same shit different season. Just fuck off c*ntish club."
- Audere Est Facere, Spurs Web

Post-match reprisals

"I'm still shocked at what happened there. They had somewhat of a threat in the beginning of the second half, but we got back in control. And then we concede 3 in the last ten. What the absolute fuck? Football can be so brutal. Did not see that coming."
- Daisuk, Glory Glory

"For me not the manager but the players that have cost this result. Bloody gutted yes, surprised not one bit. What should have been a cert 3 points with 8 minutes left now equates to two points lost in that time, just hope we stop this fate from occuring again. Onwards and upwards guys, not the end of the world just sad to lose 3 goal lead to those pratts [sic]."
- journeyman, Planet Spurs

"Jesus fucking Christ. This is exactly why other supporters laugh at us. Fuck off. Fuck."
- The Cryptkeeper, Proper Spursy

"This game is right up there with the most embarrassing and humiliating (adding in the context of it being West Ham) of recent times - up there with Colchester, Bayern Munich and going back a little further, Emirates Marketing Project in 2004. It is simply unforgiveable to give away a 3 goal lead, especially against inferior opponents, at home with less than 10 minutes remaining."
- GPRD81, Glory Glory

"After the third Spam goal went in, decided to go for a walk and forget about things. I thought the WH players' reaction after their first goal was interesting. Basically they just jogged back to the centre circle. No one rushed to grab the ball and clearly they didn't think they were going to get anything from the game. Their second goal was lucky and there wasn't too much Sanchez could have done about that. And of course their third goal was a bit of a fluke too; how many times does a player hit a last ditch effort, whilst being closed down, and score? We obviously have to make improvements, but in the cold light of day I think it was just one of those matches. We're only a point off Top4 and if we put a run together we've still got an outside chance of a title push."
- hellava_tough, Spurs Community

"These goblins always find a way. Hard to believe Bale missed a three-yard sitter then they score a miracle strike."
- StripiestPilot, The Fighting Cock

"I hate these games because the team were bloody great for most of it and then it becomes a case of blaming individuals. I’ve heard Aurier get dug out on social media;
Sanchez had a poor first 5 and really settled in. That OG can happen to any defender and should have been dealt with earlier before it came to him. They did some clever 'fouls or plays' to get their goals with the lad holding Sissoko down to off him and the guy blocking Winks' run at Lanzini. But they do happen... just more so in their Cup Final."
- Bedfordspurs, Glory Glory

"Right - news blackout time, I never want to be reminded of this match again. West Ham deserve nothing, they are shit and going down to the Championship where they belong. Some people have got to be punished after a result like this."
- MVP, The Fighting Cock

"I'm fucking fuming. I hope they get slaughtered by 'mild cunt'. The players who came on stepped us down a level and allowed them into the game. Absolute shit stain pikey c*nts piss me off."
- Y*d, Proper Spursy

"That's just disappointing and embarrassing really. Throwing away a three-goal lead at home to West Ham with eight minutes to go is just horrendous. The fact we only have two points from a possible nine at home this season is a joke. I'm also not entirely sure it was a foul at the end by Aurier. Fuck's sake, so frustrating. To think, we had all thought the mentality around the team was changing. Big signings, fresh faces round the place, being able to go away from home and dominate. Then we just get a big fat fucking reminder who we are.That feels like a loss right there."
- Totti, The Fighting Cock

"It's like the Bible in here at the moment: 'Throw out the worthless slave into the outer darkness; in that place there will be weeping and gnashing of teeth'. We should be totally used to this sort of 'Proper Spursy' shit by now. I thought Sanchez was pony from the first minute of the game right up until the end and Bale was crap, he didn't even score with his first touch free kick! Oh well, I enjoyed the first 20 minutes."
- Dorset, Proper Spursy

"I really hate how West Ham turn up literally once a season to play us."
- ardiles&villa, Spurs Community

"Probably the most embarrassing day for Spurs in living memory. Considering the opposition and the circumstances. Surely the least Jose can do is offer his resignation. As a gesture. Never mind. We can all go off to the Levy appreciation thread. I'm sure sucking off the chairman will make us all feel better on such an awful day."
- John Thomas, The Fighting Cock

"This is a message for you all for your own sanity - I haven't been on it since the end of the game, but I would strongly advise you not to go on the KUMB website for the next 25 years, because that's how long they are going to be dining out on this result for and that's as an absolute minimum..."
- 1882andallthat, Spurs Community

"Broadway Market will be a nightmare with Spam fans. I’ll have to meet my crack dealer somewhere else."
- Mariner, The Fighting Cock

"The real question is - why did we stop playing in the second half? We never started to get our act together after half time. It wasn't just the subs, we were appalling long before they came on. The Kane and Bale chances were isolated incidents. Spammers could have had five themselves in the second half. Once they put a man on Kane and nullified our main creativity, we were sunk. How can we go from brilliant to gash? It is all between the ears. Credit to Spammers who played well and took full advantage. Absolutely gutted with the result but it was of our own making. PS - it was never a free kick against Aurier."
- Pirate55, Glory Glory

"The West Scum shit are having a field day - they think they have won the Champions League and the World Cup with today’s result. It’s a bitter pill for us to swallow - but unfortunately this is Spurs, 3-0 up completely dominating the game, chances to make it 4 and 5-0 and we walk away 3-3. Unbelievable!!"
- superspurs1981, Planet Spurs

"Fucking hell, we threw that away. It definitely feels like we lost 3-3."
- Skippa18, The Fighting Cock

"If they never let it happen again, great, but you just know they will let it happen again, and again, and again. Hell, this is no different from Mourinho's first game, where we went 3-0 up against Spam and then *almost* threw it away in the last few minutes, winning 3-2. This time they finished the job. These brainless guys just never learn. It will happen again this season, I guarantee it - and the worst part is, it's a systemic issue because, unlike other teams, we now can never take our foot off the gas, because teams know our defense has an atrocious error in them and will push for goals if we're 3-0 up or 6-0 up. We're not smart enough to sit back, not solid enough, not mean enough. I guarantee you they will not learn from this."
- DubaiSpur, Glory Glory

"Aurier laughing as he gave that last free kick away. Aurier, Sanchez and Sissoko have no place in that side. Totally switched off second half. To let the pikey wankers come back into that game is a disgrace. Always get this same old feeling, just as you start to get excited about Spurs they go full Spursy mode and fucking let you down. Will we ever fucking change?"
- Neil 'Y*d' H, The Fighting Cock

"West Ham are shit! But dominated us in the 2nd half. Get Sissoko out of the club. You can't control games with him on the pitch."
- Really!!!, Planet Spurs

"We do this every single time against these clowns, should be 8 goals up but we let them off the hook and they pull some mad luck out of their arseholes. And now we have a point at home to relegation candidates. Mourinho needs to stop with this tactic of letting teams off. When a team are there to be taken we need to fucking take them or this shit will happen all season. Should have been 7 or 8 today if we had the bollocks. Sickening."
- Larry David, The Fighting Cock

"Well, I guess we can kiss the PL title goodbye. I know it's early still, but these 4 dropped points against Spam and Newcastle will come back to haunt us. Watch us finish second, 3 points behind the leaders."
- alekaras, Glory Glory

"These c*nts are not going to let us live this down, nor should they - we're a fucking laughing stock."
- swinbag, The Fighting Cock

"It's all about tactics. In the last 10 minutes our class idiot manager left 3 players up front leaving big spaces in the defence. Why on Earth should we keep 3 players in attack when we should defend a result?! This fucking muppet manager is expired, it's a mess out there, we have good players without a good mind to organize them."
- Mihai, Spurs Web

"I thought it was the best West Ham side I've seen for some time and Kane and Son put a gloss on what was a fairly even first half."
- topper, Spurs Community

"What the fuck happened? I switched off and did some housework...looks like the squad did, as well. C*nts."
- MemphisWill, The Fighting Cock

"First time I ever distroyed a Spurs shirt... fuck off!!!!"
- nattenskonge, Glory Glory

"That in a nutshell is why we will never get close to the title. Absolute shambolic defending. I wouldn’t expect that from my boy's Sunday morning team."
- Bow Lockes, The Fighting Cock

"It's like half the players were waiting for Fortnite sessions. It was turgid. No team concedes 3 in 10 mins especially to West Ham. Joke, absolute joke. No winning mentality. It's the same it has always been."
- tommyboyspurs, The Fighting Cock

"Nowhere near as annoyed at this as I was with the Newcastle result. That was daylight robbery, whereas this... this was just old school Spurs. This is the Spammers final - just like last season, just like coasting in the League Cup a couple of seasons ago - they're never just going to give up against us."
- LLB Part Deux, The Fighting Cock

"WTF am I gonna do now? Normally I'd watch a movie to try to forget, but I smashed up my TV by throwing a pint glass on it. Fuck this shit!"
- Kandi1977, Glory Glory

[in reply to the above]
"Maybe a spot of anger management?"
- 90291Spur, Glory Glory

"This is really getting to me. I think it’s because we scored three such lovely goals so early then just let West Ham dominate us. We went from me thinking we really are cusp of something special to feeling same odd shit joke of a side. We’re the only team to lose a 3 goal lead in last 10 minutes too, far too often the laughing stock of the league. It‘s just such a familiar story. West Ham fans are probably also masturbating themselves silly on KUMB tonight too and once again we gave them the material."
- DJS, Spurs Community

* Comments originally posted at The Fighting Cock, Glory Glory, Spurs Community, Planet Spurs, Spurs Web and Proper Spursy.

* Something to say about this story? Please visit the KUMB Forum to leave a comment.

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