This week we turn our attention to the most northern point of the three-pronged axis of entitlement that runs from N17, through Aston in the Midlands right up to the River Tyne. Enjoy the meltdown that followed this defeat for the city once proudly known for hosting salubrious nightspots such as the Tuxedo Princess, Rockshots and Macey's, in the latest edition of the OV...
"I'm going to need a few hours to digest that heap of shit. It was so bad I don't even know who to criticise first. Got to decide what parts of the game were the worst too. Nothing looked good, zero positives, nothing worked, nothing changed, no energy, created fuck all, looked shit in all areas of the pitch and the game. Got a horrible feeling some of these fuckers are coasting and saving themselves for the big ones, it's just a completely unacceptable result and display on every single level I can think of."
- midds
"Perfect for West Ham. A bit of luck for their second and they could rest easy knowing our full backs are so ineffective they can set up narrow and compact. But we were so shit everywhere today, deserved nothing."
- PENKAAA
"Horror show. What the actual fuck is this we are being served up?"
- Sean
"Was sat in the home end for this one, a couple of blocks from our fans in the upper tier. Stratford is soulless but managed to get in the Bat & Ball before the game for a few pints. Aside from the dross on the pitch, the thing that surprised me most was the lack of noise from our fans. Decent pre-match and for the first 15 but it was almost as if we’d seen the writing was on the wall and took it pretty meekly. I also don’t think it helped having the split section with almost two different away ends in the lower and upper bowls."
- Nucasol
"That was pretty embarrassing. Go a goal up against a side on the ropes and then, nothing absolutely nothing. We get fortunate with some decisions but don’t react to the let offs. We were poor all over the pitch. That was an absolutely honking performance."
- Tsunami
"Embarrassingly shit, wasn't expecting this result today, not at all."
- Armchair Pundit
"I thought watching Pompey lose 4-0 yesterday was bad but this performance is running it close. Just no desire in any of the forward-thinking positions. So slow and lumbering. West Ham were always going to sit back and protect the lead - we all know what Nuno is like - so we take off our big hulk of a striker and try to play Osula in with his pace - with no space to run into. Just shocking all round."
- AdoptedGeordieFromPompey
"Fuming with today. We started poorly but got a goal on the break and then were second to everything. Completely clueless all round. Eddie at least tried to change it but it seemed to just disrupt things further. A mess . One of the worst performances of Howe's reign. Hopefully the wake up call a few at the club need. Shitfest. Well done to West Ham. They completely deserved it."
- Keggy_Keagal
"Nobody could play even the simplest pass today and we were getting done all over the pitch. Gordon gave the ball away needlessly when Bowen hit the post, Bruno gave it away near goal for them to have a chance in the first half, Pope should have caught the ball before their equaliser… we could write a book on needless mistakes and unforced errors today."
- bodacious benny
"A match couldn't have started better. And then strange substitutions. Woltemade is the only player who could have pulled off a brilliant move, and he's the one who stays in the locker room. Come on, Eddie, what was that all about? And Joelinton played the whole thing? More possession in the second half, but only pathetic attempts to create chances in the box. The worst game of the season. What a shame."
- Jack14Bojangles
"The 'keeper (who runs the least of any player on the pitch) having a fake cramp at the end of the match has somehow become the preferred method of time wasting in the last few years and it is extremely annoying."
- Segun Oluwaniyi
"Well that was shite wasn't it."
- Cf
"Said it before but we just don't look like a serious football team at times and certainly not one that has the ruthlessness to win awkward, difficult away fixtures. Yesterday was a nadir of a performance, the worst for many years but it's the greater context which is more concerning. Give yourselves a kick up the arse lads and get back to doing the basics right and think about how you ended up on those pedestals in the first place."
- Benwell Lad
"Wow. That is literally the worst performance since the takeover. Utterly shambolic all over the field."
- Scoot
"3-1 flattered us. Pathetic."
- Dan
"Got exactly the result the performance deserved today, utterly wretched display lacking quality and drive. So many players putting in absolutely horrendous performances individually and the subs seemed to make it worse. Got no idea what Howe was trying to achieve today but his players haven't even done the basics and have let him and the away fans down, utterly pathetic display. Steve Bruce would be embarrassed with that today and I can't think of a more damning thing I could say."
- midds
"You ride the highs, you ride the lows. At the end of the day we not as good as we think we are and can't afford to coast in games against any team in the Premier League."
- RobsonsWonderland
"I'm saying it again. We have been shit in the league so far. Fucking buggery bastard shit hole shit."
- originallad
"We have played over 25% of the season so far and have amassed just over one point per game. We are so far off in terms of performances it is pretty eye-opening, we really need to wake up and wake up fast otherwise we are going to do chuff all this season. Thiaw and Nick aside, the money we have spent over the summer looks shocking."
- OoOGazOoO
"We're definitely not as good as we think we are like. An absolute awful summer recruitment is bearing fruit now. Apart from Wolt it was a fucking shitshow."
- KennyUtd
"Diabolical. The Mackems could batter us and even finish higher at this rate."
- Turnbull2000
"Inexcusably rancid performance with an equally heinous result to go with it. Summer business in question now for me and our general tactical set up too, latter of which has been fucking hopeless since April. Utter shite from all involved."
- HaydnNUFC
"I hope the club refund the fans - that was unacceptable."
- duo
"Nick Pope definitely eats crayons."
- Menace
"You've just got to laugh. We’re going to finish below Sunderland."
- Sibierski
"I get the frustration at being the benevolent ones but it's not like West Ham were going to continue never winning at home. They were good; pressed us well and when they were able to, executed the low block very effectively. Nuno is a good appointment for them and they should have enough to steer themselves clear for another season of bowl-circling next time. It's still a terrible result but as usual the cries of 'embarrassment' and 'disgrace' are way off and based on the idea that we should just turn up and win these games."
- Yorkie
"Just felt sad and deflated watching it. A huge opportunity against a bad team to kick on and finally get our league season moving in the right direction and we fucked it."
- LionOfGosforth
"And a reminder West Ham are absolutely shit. If we can't beat them then what the fuck are we doing?"
- r0cafella
"The most annoying thing is how much turmoil West Ham are in right now, our goal came and you can see both their fans and players almost giving up and what did we do? sat back and kept misplacing and losing every ball, not challenging for anything and pretty much asking them to get back in the game. Almost felt scripted how bad we were yesterday and how much we helped them get their confidence back and go on and win it."
- Newcastle Fan
"Could see this happening as soon as we scored. Just held off, let them get back in the game. Should’ve buried them. West Ham will be lucky to win another game this year."
- ChicagoMagpie
"West Ham appear to have recognised our weak spots and targeted them today . Good coach, Nunez."
- Slim999
"Schooled by West Ham. Totally embarrassing, we were utterly dire. Needing a rocket after that shitshow. Overrun in midfield and absolutely lacking in any positive creativity. Pope looked questionable as well, too many punches away and one of them enabled Paqueta to pop it back for their second. Dismal."
- seaside nipper
"Another game where Lucas Paqueta out plays our entire midfield."
- TRC
"Already fed up with Potts the third!"
- JB
"FFS, what an abysmal load of shite. So typically 'Newcastle', not turning up and looking like chumps against a dog shit team like West Ham, gifting points to a team that has only won once in the last nine games. Seriously, utterly wank from our lot."
- Armchair Pundit
"Fucking West Ham man, how?"
- gbandit
* Comments originally published at toonforum.co.uk and newcastle-online.org.
* Something to say about this story? Please visit the KUMB Forum to leave a comment.
